Maximally Scoopersymmetric K9 Theory for Innumerate Pedestrians Ulysses R. Spam W.I.M.P. - Welsh Institute for Mathematical Physics Gwyoofdog College Lluynytuwyns, WALES U.K. URSPAM @ ONO0U2.BITNET In 1981 Hammephat [1] initiated the study of inedible turbulent colloidal physics with his ground-breaking work on the wurst example of a flatulent Schinkenfett bundle. The stringy gravy in this model was rather difficult to cope with, but in the end it was overcome with the Sugarwata construction by Gelusille and Maalochs [2]. The same method was later used by Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Hammephat and Spam [4-9] in an attempt to understand high-temperature viscoelastic left-driving superconductors recently discovered in reentrant spinning glass pots at the University of Wales refectory [10]. Unfortunately, the rare bits of this substance that might have been suitable for further investigation decayed rapidly in heavy precipitation, and have since disappeared into a hyperbolic sink [11-13]. Having Caerphilly considered the available data, however, we believe that the superconductors are best described by theStickleberg-Dribble model as follows: Observe that owing to the renormalized funneling effect, there will be a nonzero transition probability for some superconductivity vortices to funnel funds into the refectory through a quenched ziggurat on a KAM (Kennel at Mumbles) torus [12, 14-16]. At the KAM torus the Bark effect is quite pronounced, and some K9s will attain unbounded Muzzel velocities in a finite time. Since it is possible for the outgoing Mutt scattering field Phi\subdo to intersect either the Moody-Katz subspace or the Rabbit-Poultry subspace, H\subKW\supera(P), we must calculate the cross-section, We observe that the cross-section becomes unbounded on multiple scales (musical scales, fish scales, etc.). The decibel level also increases rabbitly [17, 18]. If the scoopersymmetric scooper law applies to the unleashed Mutt field Phi\subdo, the result is singular-continuous spectral cacophony [19]. On the other hand, in the absence of a scooper law, a well-known pedestrian catastrophe occurs [20]. I.A.M.P. budget limitations do not allow the proper acknowledgment of the valuable assistance from our champion postdogs Phydeaux and Reauverre. References 1. I. Hammephat: I.A.M.P. Poster, Berlin, 1981. 2. Q. Gelusille and A. Maalochs: Neutralization of Suppersoluble Fatty Acids in a Viscous Couette Flow. Indigest. J. Gastr. 22, 17-33 (1985). 3. I. Hammephat: I.A.M.P. Poster, Marseille, 1986. 4. U.R. Spam: Misrepresentation Theory of Microlocal Knots I. Nonexistence of Local Physics. J. Improb. Theory 22, 34-50 (1987). 5. U.R. Spam: More Morphological Homeomorphisms of Homothetic Repetitions. J. Resume Pad. 22, 51-67 (1953). 6. U.R. Spam: Misrepresentation Theory of Microlocal Knots II. Counterexamples to the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. Fatuous Math. J. 22, 68-84 (1988). 7. U.R. Spam: Misrepresentation Theory of Microlocal Knots III. Nonexistence of the I.A.M.P., In prep. 8. U.R. Spam: The Paradox of Self Reference. I.A.M.P. Poster, Swansea, 1988. 9. I. Hammephat and U.R. Spam: Upper and Lower Bounds for 5 Pi. J. Math. Triv. 22, 85-101 (1982). 10. Dim Ysmygu: Quenching Ziggurats by Wetting. J. Welsh Inst. Math. Phys.