Poster by U.R. Spam

poster presented at Swansea, Wales, 1988

Maximally Scoopersymmetric K9 Theory for Innumerate Pedestrians

Ulysses R. Spam
W.I.M.P. - Welsh Institute for Mathematical Physics
Gwyoofdog College
Lluynytuwyns, WALES


In 1981 Hammephat [1] initiated the study of inedible turbulent colloidal 
physics with his ground-breaking work on the wurst example of a flatulent 
Schinkenfett bundle.  The stringy gravy in this model was rather difficult to 
cope with, but in the end it was overcome with the Sugarwata construction by 
Gelusille and Maalochs [2].  The same method was later used by Spam, Spam, 
Spam, Spam, Spam, Hammephat and Spam [4-9] in an attempt to understand 
high-temperature viscoelastic left-driving superconductors recently discovered 
in reentrant spinning glass pots at the University of Wales refectory [10].  
Unfortunately, the rare bits of this substance that might have been suitable for 
further investigation decayed rapidly in heavy precipitation, and have since 
disappeared into a hyperbolic sink [11-13].  Having Caerphilly considered 
the available data, however, we believe that the superconductors are best 
described by theStickleberg-Dribble model as follows:

Observe that owing to the renormalized funneling effect,

there will be a nonzero transition probability for some superconductivity vortices 
to funnel funds into the refectory through a quenched ziggurat on a KAM (Kennel 
at Mumbles) torus [12, 14-16].  At the KAM torus the Bark effect is quite 
pronounced, and some K9s will attain unbounded Muzzel velocities in a finite 
time.  Since it is possible for the outgoing Mutt scattering field Phi\subdo to
intersect either the Moody-Katz subspace or the Rabbit-Poultry subspace, 
H\subKW\supera(P), we must calculate the cross-section,

We observe that the cross-section becomes unbounded on multiple scales (musical 
scales, fish scales, etc.).  The decibel level also increases rabbitly [17, 18].  
If the scoopersymmetric scooper law applies to the unleashed Mutt field Phi\subdo,
the result is singular-continuous spectral cacophony [19].  On the other hand, in
the absence of a scooper law, a well-known pedestrian catastrophe occurs [20].

I.A.M.P. budget limitations do not allow the proper acknowledgment of
the valuable assistance from our champion postdogs Phydeaux and Reauverre.


1.  I. Hammephat:  I.A.M.P. Poster, Berlin, 1981.
2.  Q. Gelusille and A. Maalochs:  Neutralization of Suppersoluble Fatty Acids
in a Viscous Couette Flow.  Indigest. J. Gastr. 22, 17-33 (1985).
3.  I. Hammephat:  I.A.M.P. Poster, Marseille, 1986.
4.  U.R. Spam:  Misrepresentation Theory of Microlocal Knots I.  Nonexistence
of Local Physics.  J. Improb. Theory 22, 34-50 (1987).
5.  U.R. Spam:  More Morphological Homeomorphisms of Homothetic 
Repetitions.  J. Resume Pad. 22, 51-67 (1953).
6.  U.R. Spam:  Misrepresentation Theory of Microlocal Knots II.  
Counterexamples to the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.  Fatuous Math. J.
22, 68-84 (1988).
7.  U.R. Spam:  Misrepresentation Theory of Microlocal Knots III.  
Nonexistence of the I.A.M.P., In prep.
8.  U.R. Spam:  The Paradox of Self Reference.  I.A.M.P. Poster, 
Swansea, 1988.
9.  I. Hammephat and U.R. Spam:  Upper and Lower Bounds for 5 Pi.  
J. Math. Triv. 22, 85-101 (1982).
10.  Dim Ysmygu:  Quenching Ziggurats by Wetting.  J. Welsh Inst. Math.